Happy?

Today a friend sent me a message and she wrote, at some point "please, be happy!". It had such a huge impact on me! Lately, when talking about myself, I'm saying that the only thing that I want is to be happy. And now somebody has to ask me to be happy?! How can I be asked to do what I want to do? What happened to me? Where and when did I lose myself? Something's wrong with me.

Today I stopped crying, I stopped being sad, I started resting at night, I smiled again. Because I have no idea what will happen in January. And why worry? There's no point in worrying now. For now, I just have to wait (I did it for 3 months, I can do it for 3 more weeks). And I will enjoy this time. Because I want to be happy.

Almost Christmas

It's almost Christmas. And I'm home. Finally home (not only phisically, but also mentally).

This year doesn't feel like Christmas. Or at least, not the Christmas mood that I see on TV. Neither the Christmas I remember as a kid. It's something different.

This year, Christmas feels like sleeping after crying for a long time. Being here, now, with my parents, talking to my mom about my problems, about her problems, about my future plans feels good. I don't think this Christmas is about Christmas. This year, I wasn't caught in the shopping fever, neither in the religious meaning of this day. So this year is just about being home.

Happy to be here and even happier for enjoying it :)

The end

Today is my last day here. This time tomorrow I will be in Riga, starting my Baltic trip.
Today it's snowing. And it's so damn beautiful! It simply makes me smile a lot.
Uff! My X is now over! I think teh best way to describe it would be "DON'T CRY BECAUSE IT CAME TO AN END! SMILE BECAUSE IT HAPPENED!". This is my feeling now. I am happy for all the chanegs in me, I am happy for the people I met, I am happy for my future plans.

I am really grateful I decided to take this internship. Now I am for sure a much more mature person. And I am in love with AIESEC again. Speaking of which, I decided to do a list with the things I discovered in AIESEC. I don't know if it's complete, but I will do my best to put down eveything:

• if you want to say something and make it clear to the others, use bullets :P
• planning tools
• conferences are amazing!!!! being OC or in the faci team is the best experience ever!!!!
• friends, best friends, the best friends
• positive thinking
• giving constructive feedback
• teamwork
• the power of believing in something
• passion can move mountains
• goal setting and goal achieving
• challenging processes and people
• people like happy people
• appreciation is the best thing to motivate the others
• my biggest fear is failing
• things happen for a reason
• actions have consequences (and I must accept this)
• I love Denmark, Hamburg and Buenos Aires
• the most important thing for me is to be happy with what I am doing and the people around me
• I CAN work with any type of person, but this doesn't mean I can be a friend of that person
• CSR
  
• training
• I can work with teenagers and they like me :)
• I believe that if between 2 persons is chemistry, then they will work together just fine:P
• I take responsibility for my actions
• I like being in charge of things
• I believe in qualitative experiences

I think I will leave this list open. Because my AIESEC career will not come to an end now :)

Recovery

Finally!!!!

I am enjoying my second week in recovery stage. It feels so nice to talk about cultural shock and being able to say to my kids that I am now in recovery stage.

Everything is so nice. I just had an amazing weekend in Kaunas, my kids last week gave me the best present in the world that I will take with me wherever I'll live, I am trying to learn Lithuanian, I am doing sport 1 hour a day (everyday), I like my life.

I'm happy here. I still miss home, I still miss us, but this is not stopping me from enjoying what I have here and now.