Din tren

Cand eram mica, imi doream sa fiu scriitor. Sa pot sa scriu povesti fascinante, in care cititorii mei sa se piarda si pe care sa le tina minte o viata intreaga. Cand eram mica, incercam sa scriu. Dar am crescut si am hotarat ca nu sunt suficint de buna si nici suficient de ambitioasa incat sa muncesc din greu pentru a deveni buna. Asa ca am abandonat. Din cand in cand, redevin mica si imi doresc sa fiu scriitor. Azi e unul din acele momente.

Sunt in trenul care ma poarta incet incet de la Bacau la Bicaz. Sunt inconjurata de pretutindeni de infinite nuante de verde. Oamenii nici macar nu se vad. Trec absenti, grabiti, ingrijorati. Ramane numai frumusetea verdelui, lumina covarsitoare a fulgerelor si zgomotul zguduitor al tunetelor. Stropii de apa au incetat sa se mai loveasca brutal de fereastra personalului. Acum sunt prea demni, prea multi, prea puternici. Se vad ca o perdea care ma protejeaza si ma expune in acelasi timp naturii.

Simt cum aerul rece patrunde in compartiment si ma poarta cu amintirile spre vremurile copilariei, cu ploi lungi, indelung asteptate si foi mari de tutun. Privesc spre dealurile impadurite si pasunile de fan, dar ma vad pe mine din trecut, pe mine din vis. Deja a incetat sa mai fie o banala calatorie cu trenul. A devenit o modalitate de a restabili legatura dintre mine si mine. A depasit cotidianul si lumescul, a devenit o poarta spre visare si ideal...

Ma pierd cu gandurile si amintirile in fiecare din imaginile care mi se succed in fata ochilor. Ascult cu atentie muzica ploii, a tastelor si a trenului – melodie pe care demult imi doream sa o aud, dar ce care nu-mi imaginam ca ma voi bucura atat.

Drumurile au mereu magia lor. Cel de azi m-a facut sa redevin mica si sa imi doresc sa fiu scriitor.

Houses

People & their lives are just like house owners & their house.

Some throw a big party and everyone is invited, no matter how messy things might get, no matter how destroyed everything is afterwards. Others are a bit more cautius. They invite only a few people and they are very formal, as if they're testing the neighbours to see if they are good enough for the house. There are also some people that just leave the front door open for anybody that is curious to come in. Usually, they also have a back door that is open at all times, so that nobody stays for too long. And let's not forget about the ones that simply lock their house and won't open to anybody. They might go pay some visits to others' place, but they almost never let anybody in.

But by far, I think the most interesting people are the ones that never seems to be at home and leave the door unlocked every now and then. Those houses look simply amazing and intriguing. The best part is that you never know what you're gonna get when you arrive. Sometimes, the door won't open and sometimes the owner waits for you with backed cookies. Most of the times he/she will be outside on the porch and will offer you a warm smile or you'll have an insignificant chit chat. It's not actually worth coming back, but for some reason you simply can't resist and you come back over and over again. You always hope that next time you'll get to see more of the mysterious house. At some point, maybe you will. Or maybe you won't. It's a risk you have to take. Till when? Only the house owner can tell, but (s)he's never saying anything about this.

I'm done waiting for a chance to see more. I move on. I'll look for some other interesting houses & house owners. But just so you know, I'll come back when you'll invite me.

Very, very, very random

Somes scared me today. It looked so angry and the scent was awful. I thought it'll swallow me if I don't run faster on the bridge. I want to be a lamb cause I'll be cute & curly & I'll have four legs to touch the ground. The red cherries on a white plate are the most beautiful thing you can bring for midday, indoor picnic If I were a lamp, I would love to be forgotten on a boat near a lake. I would have endless conversations with the water, the wind and the polite fishes.

Beautiful day

Some days are sad, some are overwhelming, some are interesting, some are ok and some are simply beautiful. Yesterday was more than happy Thursday, it was beautiful Thursday. The ingredients? A training on leadership with some AHA moments, a late lunch with a person I'm still discovering, a challenging walk on Cetatuie (not all skirts are compatible with the rocks, the steps and the nettles) with a surprising person that shared my passion for NGOs, social entrepreneurship and Buenos Aires and then a walk in the park.

Yesterday was about beauty, about surprising things, about new places in Cluj, about people with whom I have a good time, about new ideas and old dreams. All these made me appreciate my life in Cluj even more and be grateful one more time I decided to stay here and not run away...

Happiness is just around the corner. All I have to do is walk towards it.

Really proud of TOASTMASTERS

Yesterday was a bad day. I always have a bad day before an exam if I don't feel prepared. I really didn't feel like going out of my room. I just wanted to sleep the day away (and today as well). But since I had a role in Toastmasters meeting, I had to go. So put I on my favourite skirt and I went. And it was amazing!

By far, it was the best meeting I attended. We had an amazing toastmaster (the host of the meeting) that set the new standard for how a toastmaster should be, really funny topics for table topics session (I was laughing so much I could barely speak) and good speeches. I stayed somewhere in the back, observing everything & everyone. I simply loved what I saw! I'm pretty sure that from now on we'll continue having the same high quality meetings, maybe with even more members.

I'm still smiling & feeling proud of Toastmasters! Definitely, joining it it was one of the best decisions I made this year :)

Do you know?

Do you know how much I love you? Do you know how much I need you in my life? Do you know you make me smile? Do you know how much I appreciate you? Do you know I envy you? Do you know I pray for you every night? Do you know you are my role models? Do you know how much I miss you? Do you know that just seeing you makes my day? Do you know how grateful I am for having you in my life? Do you know you inspire me? Do you know how deeply sorry I am for everything I did? Do you know I'm waiting for you?

Most probably all these "you" are not reading my blog and most probably some of them don't even know how often I think about them nor what I think about them. Tonight I was in a very weird mood... I didn't feel like talking to anybody, I panicked for a kind of stupid reason, I remembered and decided to forget some things, but more than anything I thought about the important persons in my life, whether they are still around or not...

For all the important "you" in my life (just hoping that at some point I'll be able to say it or prove in a way you'll understand)...

20th May

Today is a special day.

About a month ago I decided that 20th May is the deadline by which I establish what I will do during the summer time. And guess what? I already made up my mind. And it's quite related to what I've been doing for the past 3 summers: something related to internationalism and volunteering. This time, it will not be abroad and it will not be related to AIESEC. It's in Cluj and it's about Habitat for Humanity (http://habitatcluj.ro ). I'm pretty excited about this, as volunteering for HFH (especially the building houses part) is one of my bucket list items :)

Besides this, in July I will spend some time at home and I'll go to Cerna. Oh... and I will go for 1 weekend to the seaside with one of the persons I love the most (when you read this, remember it & clear a weekend :D).

It's gonna be a nice summer :)