ups and downs

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother what will I be
Will I be pretty
Will I be rich
Here's what she said to me

Que sera sera
Whatever will be will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera sera

When I was just a child in school
I asked my teacher what should I try
Should I paint pictures
Should I sing songs
This was her wise reply

Que sera sera
Whatever will be will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera sera

When I grew up and fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will there be rainbows day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said

Que sera sera
Whatever will be will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera sera

What will be, will be
Que sera sera...

This is one of my favourite songs, one of my favourite messages. However, I can't listen to this message... it would be too easy to trust what future holds in store for me... I really don't know what this may be and today I realized that I'm not that lucky as I thought, that I lose from time to time (and unfortunately, my first reaction to this is not a positive one). I'm sad... not only because things didn't turn out the way I wanted, but because I'm not sure why did it happened: I'm not good enough or I didn't try hard enough...